A Grieving Son

Based on a real-life incident.

When I start this story with BASED ON TRUE INCIDENT everyone will doubt if it happens within my family. Whatever good or bad happens within us or in our next door, we always sympathize and emphatize our emotions in any way.

Two years ago, I met a married woman named Anu when I was preparing for civil services. It is usual for any engineering graduate to prepare for UPSC/ TNPSC exams. Im not an exception though. I am the most reserved and a shy lady whenever I meet a person for the first time but when I get into touch, I will be the most talkative and jovial who will never have a heart to lose me. (Going beyond the topic- thought a little intro is needed for myself).

When we get into touch, we came to know that we are connected to each other by a very far relationship. We shared our contacts. I am not a family oriented person so I don’t get into contact into any of my family relatives. I never attended wedding ceremonies or any occasions. I stay at home listening to music and reading books (most of the times in a meditation- nap)

Anu spoke about her paternal uncle Mohan who is also my father’s office colleague during his younger age. They have attended banking exams together. I always share everything with my father about what I did the whole day. He never refused to listen till this time.

Just to be clear about If Anu’s paternal uncle and my father’s colleague are same, I gathered some hint about my father’s friend. As per my daddy’s knowledge, Mohan uncle lives in Chennai with his family, his wife suffers from Kidney failure. They have 2 children – boy and girl. Both of them are adults and are unmarried.

Out of excitement, I called Anu and enclosed the information I got from my father. She said ‘Yes, he is but aunt is no more. She died few months ago’.

I was shocked to hear this news. I informed the same to my father and he felt that he should meet his friend directly to console the condolences.

When they met, Mohan uncle was glad to see his young age friend after a very long period. He invited my father to his daughter’s wedding which was planned suddenly. But also decided to do it grandly as she is his only daughter.

I went with my father and brother to attend the wedding where I met that uncle and his family for the first time. He was kind of happy and sad as he has not expected this ceremony without his beloved wife.

(I always observe people before getting too much attached.)

Anu and myself never spoke for a long time as she was busy with her lecturing job.

After few months

I own a dog named Joono who never keep his mouth shut when someone new comes to our home. I got disturbed from sleep and check to see from balcony who came to visit at this early morning. That was none other than Mohan uncle. He came to inform my father that he is leaving to Chennai to stay with his son as he is living alone in his flats. My father was happy and conveyed that he should take medicines and do some physical activities to keep his body and mind healthy (I was eavesdropping).

After two days

I heard someone knocking my door at an early morning. When I got up to check, my father said Mohan uncle’s son have committed suicide in their Chennai flats. He showed me the text he received from Mohan uncle.

I started to question myself ‘WHY?! WHY DID HE DO IT?’

I started thinking about that guy and his family’s mental health, I worried about his father because he didn’t deserve to suffer this much.

We are not heartless to call and ask them What happened? But Im losing my patience to know the truth.

I asked my father to call and empathize. But he refused because my father has a weak heart. He was not able to face his friend even through a phone call.

They met after 3 months while my father went to shop some grocery items.

Now it is time to reveal the truth about that guy’s suicide.

His son loves his mother more than anyone else in his life (I know men love their mothers).

He started missing his mother after her death so he kept telling his sister that he is going to meet his mother soon. He also advised his sister to take care of his pet.

He asked his father to stay with him as he is not willing to isolate himself anymore. (It happened during COVID quarantine)

He researched about a painless death in his laptop. He stopping hanging out with his friends. He never took food properly.

He got an idea about injecting high level of insulin into his body via Google.

He has longed for his father’s arrival for 5 months to kill himself.

He has bought insulin and syringes from pharmacy. He was well set to free his soul to meet his mother.

But Why? Why did you do it? You would have talked about your grievances to your family or even your friends. You would have taken counselling.

Why did your sister taken your grievance as a joke. Why didn’t she talked about this to your father?

Why weren’t we met? If we were, I would have tried my best to save you.

I am sorry. We never met, we never talked, we never even seen each other. I know that you are in a better place. This world is not fit for you. Or may be we are not deserved to have you.

You don’t deserve it. I hope you met your mother and you are watching your father’s grief from another world or from another dimension. May we meet again.

I am enclosing this incident with a woeful heart.

To everyone’s knowledge,

If someone is grieving about their lost ones, talk to them. Please never consider it as a joke.

Sometimes we forget to ask our loved ones WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM AND WHAT IS RUNNING ON THEIR MIND. It is never too late to ask. Instead of regretting later for losing them completely, it is good to spare your time with them. Tell them ‘IT’S ALRIGHT, I’M WITH YOU’.

P.S. Take care of your loved ones.

Note: The name of characters has been changed to keep their identities confidential.

Published by anithaasaithambi

I am not a poet, not even a psychiatrist, not a good writer though. But I started learning from my mistakes. We are in a world where everyone is busy with their own problems and trauma. I sometimes worry that I have no one around me to listen to my problems. I am around these people where they taught to learn from my mistakes and never atleast warned or threatened what would be the result. I am glad that it will make me stronger some day. I am here to share my experiences and also the jokes and traumas I met so far. This story has plagued my mind for far too long. Typing this out is my feeble attempt to make sense of something my rational mind refuses to comprehend. Keep supporting.. Hope everyone has a very good day. Cherish each day with happiness.

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