A woman’s disclosure

This revelation is not to hurt anyone but to say that the woman I know is helpless & disappointed. The woman I know is desperately seeks love and care.

Should I address her a woman or with any name? I am naming her Grace (I felt that this name suits her). Grace doesn’t want me to share her name but she wants everyone to know what she is going through.

Grace is a charming lady with kind heart & happiness. Everyone loves to be with her because she is a fun filled woman. You will definitely fall in love with her if you talk to her for the first time. Everyone adores her. She was an inspiration to many in her college days.

No one in the world had a smooth life without any disaster. But what is the disaster in her life? Grace’s mother made her to do all the household works when she was just a school kid. Her mother never looked at her, never cared her but blamed her when Grace scored less mark. Her mother said to everyone that her child (Grace) is characterless when Grace failed to help her mother with household activities. Her mother never cooked her food for lunch to school. And Grace never asked her mother to prepare food for her either. Because she knows nothing will happen and nothing changes.

Grace left her home and stayed in hostel to do her college education. She refused to visit her home during her holidays and vacations.

Years passed, Grace went to earn money. So then what? Her mother treated her well because she needed her child’s earning. Even Grace never refused to give her earning to her mother. Grace’s father working in a different district with an illness allowed her to stay brave.

Grace came to know that her mother is having a relationship with another man. What can she do? Can she fight to make her mother understand that men who flirts with a married woman are bastards? But how is she going to react? Can she ask someone for help? Can she tell it to her father to save their relationship? What can she do?

Out of frustration, She called her mother and scolded her badly. What did her mother do? Talked ill about Grace to family, friends and neighbours. Grace never broke down. She wish to stood for her family. She always wanted her family together. She ignored talking about it to anyone. Even when everyone asked her, why she is upset; she kept quiet. But why is this for? Is this going to make her family bonding stronger?

Grace started hating everyone. She realised that she is failing. She couldn’t do anything. She became weak. She got disappointed. She is helpless.

Her father found his wife’s relationship. You know what happened then? They fought, they blame each other. Grace’s peace faded away. Everything happened what she prayed not to happen. Anyhow she is glad that her mother will be out of this thing.

You know what happened next? Her mother never felt guilty about it. She talked ill about everyone to her husband. She is good at manipulating people. Grace’s father didn’t talk to her for 2 days. She worried about her father. She loves her father a lot. So she wanted to know why her father stopped talking to her? Her father asked her ‘do you love anyone?’ She was shocked. She was not in love with anyone. If she is, she would definitely say YES!. She wanted to know who rumoured about her? It is none other than her own mother.

Grace is done. Grace has lost his interest to live. She always felt jealousy when any of her friends tell her that their mom feed them & braided their hairs. She longed for it. The space of motherhood cannot be filled by anyone else. Even if she is surrounded by people who cares her, she misses a huge thing in her life. Its her mother.

She wandered why is this happening to her? She wandered why her mother talking ill about her child?, she wandered why her mother never cared her?, she wandered why she is unhappy, she wandered why she cannot accept it and let go?

She still loves her mother, she still loves her a lot and She still cares her so much. But her mother is not understanding it. But WHY?

Even if Grace expresses her solitude life through her silence, her mother never realised it.

I tell her not to worry and her mother will understand her someday.

What will you say to this soul? Doesn’t she deserve a happy life?

She is still chanting I AM DONE and willing to kill herself so that she won’t suffer anymore.

P.S To few parents, if you are unhappy with your life; don’t let your children suffer. You don’t have to feed your frustration to your kids. Let them live peacefully. I don’t want any Grace to suffer like this and cry in darkness.

Gracias

Author: anithaasaithambi

I am not a poet, not even a psychiatrist, not a good writer though. But I started learning from my mistakes. We are in a world where everyone is busy with their own problems and trauma. I sometimes worry that I have no one around me to listen to my problems. I am around these people where they taught to learn from my mistakes and never atleast warned or threatened what would be the result. I am glad that it will make me stronger some day. I am here to share my experiences and also the jokes and traumas I met so far. This story has plagued my mind for far too long. Typing this out is my feeble attempt to make sense of something my rational mind refuses to comprehend. Keep supporting.. Hope everyone has a very good day. Cherish each day with happiness.

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