To my precious father.. To my first love.. To my super hero..
Every girl in this universe loves their daddy more than anyone else.
I guess you have find the caption of my today’s content. Yes, this is none other than but about my daddy.
A first boy child born to a wealthy middle class farmer parents from Tirunelveli. They were overwhelmed with joy about his arrival.
They named him Asaithambi. (I always wonder why they named him thambi (younger brother) even though he was the first son to his parents). He is an active, playful boy during his childhood days.
He studied harder and walked miles to attend his school education. He studied under a street light since his home doesn’t have electricity. (You might think what this boy were doing during day time, let me tell you he might also be doing the same thing we did during our childhood days).
He is a self obedient boy and and also treated everyone with respect. He cleared his school education and graduated from bachelor of science in mathematics. Since he has been brought up from an uneducated family, he understood the value of education system and tried to help his siblings and natives as well.
He wondered for jobs and he has no idea about choosing a career. His ambition is to become a cop and he trained hardly to have a fit body for physical examination. But his uncle strictly disallowed him from joining police jobs.
He later studied harder to get into banking career. He has attended 3 paper tests to qualify bank requirements. He has succeeded in his 3rd attempt and he finally got a job in a centralised bank. His friend zone has been increased. They never refused to help him when he struggles.
He married a girl with 10 years of difference between them (as it was usual those days). They lived a life where there would be love, fight, misunderstandings, quarrels, ego, temper and sacrifice. They blessed with 3 children – 2 sons and a daughter.
He strived for his children’s education with his monthly salary. He worked harder and harder without any casual or sick leaves. He has even worked over duty to get extra pay.
Without fuelling a machine or a human body properly, it won’t work in a good condition.
Yes, my daddy’s health became bad as he has to sit for the whole day and work. He had his first stroke attack when I was doing my high school.
He was in ICU. Family members were not allowed inside except his wife. I never had a heart to meet him either. He was a very strong and a brave man. No children will face their daddies in that condition. I am not an exception though. I never met him till he transferred to a normal ward (So do you believe me now- he is a real fighter).
Everyone advised him to quit his job and he was a clerk while he got his first stroke attack. We received a postal mail from his bank. Hurray! This was his promotion letter. We jumped out in joy because we never expected this. This helped him to recover faster as he was excited and happy.
He got his promotion post in Trichy which will take a night to travel from our hometown. He didn’t refuse to travel and stay far from family. This was his first time to stay away from us. My elder bother stayed and took good care of him. We used to visit them whenever we get holidays and vacations.
He then got transferred to Tirunelveli after working for 4 long years in Trichy.
No one will always have a smooth and happy life style every time.
Yes, my daddy had his second stroke attack when I was working in Chennai. My elder brother was working in a ship. Even if he had a chance fo visit, he could not. My mother and my younger brother took my daddy to a hospital. He was hospitalised but he informed my mother and younger brother not to inform me because he thought it may distress me (How could he think like that).
I packed my bag and took a bus after receiving a call from my mother around 7:00 PM. I prayed for my daddy during my 12 hour journey.
Glad the bus driver drove faster than any buses. I reached to hospital in the morning around 4:00 AM. When I ran to see him in ICU, he was casually talking to nurses. He introduced me to them, telling them that she is my daughter, she works in Chennai (Is this even necessary daddy?!). He was just pretending to act normal.
Such a cool daddy right. Yes, he is. Little arrogant too. He made us suffer during those times. I could not imagine a life without him.
I met his doctor because after my elder brother, I wanted to take care of things which I am not good at. But I have managed it somehow. His doctor advised me not to make my daddy suffer by telling him any shocking news (but why Im gonna tell him any shocking news, felt like I was watching a movie.. but this was reality).
I always think what will I do if Im in their place. I would have died. I am a weaker person. But he is not. He was thinking about us. He knows that we are nothing without him. He knew that I will lose my wings, he knew that I will lose my voice, he knew that I will lose my soul, he knew that I will lose my breath. He walked, he talked, he made us to smile another time.
What if I lose him? What if I was not born? I will never have a life. I never know the value of a father.
Back to the content,
I went to work in Kochi. I always like to meet new people, new culture, new language. Anyone who loves to travel makes a way easier even if it is harder. (That’s so me, I made it easier). My daddy never refused to let me travel. He believed me. He felt that I should not depend on anyone. He felt that I should be a brave and strong woman. He thought that I should learn and experience from my own adventures.
My elder brother always say that I should stay with my family and spend my time with my parents since I should not regret later that I haven’t valued the time of being with him.
This sparked my mind. I started to think that I can get a job at any time but the value of being with my parents cannot be attained anymore.
Do you want to know what my decision is?!
Yes, I quit my job. I packed my things. I booked a ticket in the next train to Tirunelveli.
My daddy got retired in an year after my arrival. Later he got his interest in terrace gardening. He cherished everyday in his garden.
After us and his garden, his interest is into his only grandson – my elder brother’s son.
When my nephew was born, we are amazed and happy. His sickness faded away and mental health becomes strong when he met his grandson. They have the similarities. They are connected. Their love was sealed for eternity.
I love every day with my daddy. It makes me happy when I watch him smile. I hate anyone, who disrespect my daddy. I love anyone, if my daddy likes them. I want this bond to continue.
I will always love you daddy. I will always keep you happy. I will always make you proud.
P.S. I never call my daddy as daddy. I call him Asai. He never responded if I call him Appa. So sweet right. Yea. That’s why I love my father more than anyone else in this world.
When I start this story with BASED ON TRUE INCIDENT everyone will doubt if it happens within my family. Whatever good or bad happens within us or in our next door, we always sympathize and emphatize our emotions in any way.
Two years ago, I met a married woman named Anu when I was preparing for civil services. It is usual for any engineering graduate to prepare for UPSC/ TNPSC exams. Im not an exception though. I am the most reserved and a shy lady whenever I meet a person for the first time but when I get into touch, I will be the most talkative and jovial who will never have a heart to lose me. (Going beyond the topic- thought a little intro is needed for myself).
When we get into touch, we came to know that we are connected to each other by a very far relationship. We shared our contacts. I am not a family oriented person so I don’t get into contact into any of my family relatives. I never attended wedding ceremonies or any occasions. I stay at home listening to music and reading books (most of the times in a meditation- nap)
Anu spoke about her paternal uncle Mohan who is also my father’s office colleague during his younger age. They have attended banking exams together. I always share everything with my father about what I did the whole day. He never refused to listen till this time.
Just to be clear about If Anu’s paternal uncle and my father’s colleague are same, I gathered some hint about my father’s friend. As per my daddy’s knowledge, Mohan uncle lives in Chennai with his family, his wife suffers from Kidney failure. They have 2 children – boy and girl. Both of them are adults and are unmarried.
Out of excitement, I called Anu and enclosed the information I got from my father. She said ‘Yes, he is but aunt is no more. She died few months ago’.
I was shocked to hear this news. I informed the same to my father and he felt that he should meet his friend directly to console the condolences.
When they met, Mohan uncle was glad to see his young age friend after a very long period. He invited my father to his daughter’s wedding which was planned suddenly. But also decided to do it grandly as she is his only daughter.
I went with my father and brother to attend the wedding where I met that uncle and his family for the first time. He was kind of happy and sad as he has not expected this ceremony without his beloved wife.
(I always observe people before getting too much attached.)
Anu and myself never spoke for a long time as she was busy with her lecturing job.
After few months
I own a dog named Joono who never keep his mouth shut when someone new comes to our home. I got disturbed from sleep and check to see from balcony who came to visit at this early morning. That was none other than Mohan uncle. He came to inform my father that he is leaving to Chennai to stay with his son as he is living alone in his flats. My father was happy and conveyed that he should take medicines and do some physical activities to keep his body and mind healthy (I was eavesdropping).
After two days
I heard someone knocking my door at an early morning. When I got up to check, my father said Mohan uncle’s son have committed suicide in their Chennai flats. He showed me the text he received from Mohan uncle.
I started to question myself ‘WHY?! WHY DID HE DO IT?’
I started thinking about that guy and his family’s mental health, I worried about his father because he didn’t deserve to suffer this much.
We are not heartless to call and ask them What happened? But Im losing my patience to know the truth.
I asked my father to call and empathize. But he refused because my father has a weak heart. He was not able to face his friend even through a phone call.
They met after 3 months while my father went to shop some grocery items.
Now it is time to reveal the truth about that guy’s suicide.
His son loves his mother more than anyone else in his life (I know men love their mothers).
He started missing his mother after her death so he kept telling his sister that he is going to meet his mother soon. He also advised his sister to take care of his pet.
He asked his father to stay with him as he is not willing to isolate himself anymore. (It happened during COVID quarantine)
He researched about a painless death in his laptop. He stopping hanging out with his friends. He never took food properly.
He got an idea about injecting high level of insulin into his body via Google.
He has longed for his father’s arrival for 5 months to kill himself.
He has bought insulin and syringes from pharmacy. He was well set to free his soul to meet his mother.
But Why? Why did you do it? You would have talked about your grievances to your family or even your friends. You would have taken counselling.
Why did your sister taken your grievance as a joke. Why didn’t she talked about this to your father?
Why weren’t we met? If we were, I would have tried my best to save you.
I am sorry. We never met, we never talked, we never even seen each other. I know that you are in a better place. This world is not fit for you. Or may be we are not deserved to have you.
You don’t deserve it. I hope you met your mother and you are watching your father’s grief from another world or from another dimension. May we meet again.
I am enclosing this incident with a woeful heart.
To everyone’s knowledge,
If someone is grieving about their lost ones, talk to them. Please never consider it as a joke.
Sometimes we forget to ask our loved ones WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM AND WHAT IS RUNNING ON THEIR MIND. It is never too late to ask. Instead of regretting later for losing them completely, it is good to spare your time with them. Tell them ‘IT’S ALRIGHT, I’M WITH YOU’.
P.S. Take care of your loved ones.
Note: The name of characters has been changed to keep their identities confidential.