A love that never ends

when we selflessly love someone, that love has no end to it.

I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe in vibe of the people I meet. I never get the same kind of feelings from everyone. Some had given me temporary happiness, some had showered me love which had alternatively annoyed, some might helped me when I was down, some had left me alone when I needed them and because of a deep inner fear, I ignored some.

Why do I get this fear? I always dream about HOW I WANT TO BE LOVED & HOW SOMEONE HAS TO LOVE ME. I was disappointed when I was being rejected because of my look and personality. But I never expect my man to look handsome or to have a good physique. I want to find the pureness of his soul, I have to adore the beauty of his mind, I wish to admire his taintless heart.

We don’t have a soul. We are a soul. We happen to have a body.

C.S. Lewis

This British writer is an eye opener for me. He said you don’t have a soul, you are the soul and you have a body. We realize the soul is eternal, full of bliss and knowledge so it puts on bodies and takes them off like we do clothes and it’s journey is far beyond matter. A body is like a property for a soul, some pierce their ears and nose to wear studs just like we hang chandelier in our living rooms. If I am dead, no one is going to talk about my appearance, but they will talk about the name I earned, things I did, the goodness and badness in me. This is gonna live even if this body rots, ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

I want my man to love me for the way I am. I want him to be his way he is. I want him to correct my flaws. Either of us cannot be puppets our whole life. I will walk in your shoes to understand your pain. I will give you space whenever you need. I will help you to keep everything on track. I will neither be a headache nor a burden for you.

The only disaster in everyone’s life is comparing their life with others. But I promise, I will never do it to you. I know it will hurt you. I promise you that I will be a mother, a true friend, a well-wisher, a caretaker, a lover and a lifetime companion. I wish you to be the same to me.

Whenever I was heartbroken, whenever someone cheated me, whenever I was disappointed, whenever I was rejected, I felt low and all of a sudden I got a vibe that everything happens for a reason. Immediately my mind would say HIS PRAYER HAS WORKED THIS TIME TOO. I asked my mind WHY?! If he is so much conscious about me, why hasn’t he met me? If he doesn’t want me to get into any trap, why hasn’t he come to hold my hands and say YOU ARE MINE, NO ONE CAN TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME.?

But why. Why are you away when I needed you the most? Why haven’t we met? Why are we taking so much time to meet? Why are you delaying? Are you alive? Are you next to God as an angel and asking him to save me by sacrificing your life? Will you come into my dreams to prove that my intuitions are right? Will you send your love through the air I breathe to prove that you live for me somewhere? Will you whisper through my ears that you are always near me to give a hope for this life?

The day we meet will live forever in our history.

The day we meet will always be remembered.

The day we meet will never be faded.

I believe that you are a true human with good humane qualities. I believe that you are a pure soul. I believe that you are being transparent. I believe that you are not hurting anyone. I believe that you are handling your responsibilities with complete confidence. I pray for you everyday to have a healthy lifestyle and I am sending a good vibes through the air.

I hope we will meet someday. When you grab my hands, I will realise that I am safe with you. When you walk with me, I will understand that we will travel together till this life ends. When you smile at me, I will recognise that you are loving the beauty of my soul.

I want you to stay stronger because I don’t want you lose hope as I lost mine. I wish you to stay safe because I don’t want you to feel bad for not having me around you. I know that you are worrying about me like I’m worrying about you. I am telling you one thing to keep you motivated. You born for me and I born for you. You will realise how much I missed you on the day we meet. Till then, Enjoy your solo life; even if you are committed, I pray that you don’t cheat or hurt anyone (I pray for a breakup too). I don’t want anyone to curse us. I don’t want you to suffer the pain. By the way, I prayed for breakup, because I thought this is why you are refusing to meet at the earliest. Why do you want this commitment even if that is not meant for you? We sometimes choose a wrong path because of the twists and whirls. I made my thought clear that I am never choosing a path till I find you. I want you to do the same.

I sometimes think that God is jealous about getting us united just because of the love we are going to share. Now God being the mediator for us, we may forget him after we get together. I’m sorry for blaming you, dear God. I sincerely doubt you for not sending him yet.

Dear God, I have a request for you. If my man is around you, please return his life and take mine. His prayers had saved me from lot many disasters and I am grateful for it. I feel that I am not lucky for missing this beautiful soul. If you took him too earlier as he is your favourite child, take me as well; even if I am not your favourite (you know why.. I said that I am an Atheist plenty of times).

My dear man, I don’t know how you want me to love you. But I can say that you will neither be annoyed nor be irritated with the love I shower you. I swear that you will understand the real meaning of love when I am around you. I want you to find the same kind of vibe from me that I found from you. I want you to be loved by all mankind. I want you to love everyone and hate none. I want you to gain more friends and less enemity. I want you to do what you love and I want you to enjoy your life to the fullest. And at last I want you to find me as early as possible. Because I am getting disappointed when day passes.

You might have heard some ladies saying, ‘I will always be yours, I will not argue if you look at other women, I will be in your ups and downs’. But I am not going to vow you like other women did. But I can say that you are never gonna look at other women when I am with you. Because we will love each other like the first man and woman of this world.

We will enjoy our lives and we will explore new things together. I wish we grow old together. We will dance like no one is watching. We will sing like no one is listening. We will love like no one is around.

Bring it on & let truth be my existence. Value my life & tell me like it is. Bark at me when I’m wrong & hug me when I’m right. Praise me if I succeed & tell me if I fail. Laugh at me if you think I’m funny & wink at me if you think I’m cute; Yell at me if I ever hurt you & scold me if I’m ever bad. Keep things real with me, Because I want to be alive, I want my world to be real & I want to see your spirit. I want to hear you breathe & I want to know how you feel. I don’t want to waste our time with insincerities. I want us to keep our world real.

I will love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I will love you like the plant that does not bloom but carries within itself, hidden the light of those flowers. I will appreciate your love, which lives darkly in my body a certain solid fragrance that has risen from the earth. I will love you without knowing how or when or from where. I will love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride in which there is no you nor I; so close that your hand upon my chest is mine; so close that your eyes close as I dream.

I often say when we selflessly love someone, that love has no end to it. I want to love you that way, so that we will never get an end to our love story.

P.S I love you

Believe in yourself

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

You’ve spent your entire life discrediting yourself. When you’re in the shower, you overthink all the things that have happened. You find flaws in everything you say or do.

Perhaps that is why when someone tells you that they like you, it comes to you as an absolute surprise. You feel, there are better people out there. You are unable to believe them because you’re really not sure if you’re good at anything at all.

You feel you’re not enough. You think that no one really sees you, you have an intuition that no one would even notice if you weren’t around. No one would miss you if you didn’t turn up at a party, but I suppose, it’s just not true. Your best friend would still be dating toxic people, and you had not been there for them.

I know it’s all too easy to say but too hard world. It pays to be someone who is constantly working on themselves. Someone who tries to be better, who tries to improve, who listens, and who is kind. it’s easy to be the ‘bad one’.

It’s easy to think of yourself as better than others. giving up is always an option, too, because you think that no one is watching. Real but the truth is – you’re watching yourself and you see everything. Everything that you’ve been trying to hide, everything that you’ve been trying to fake.

You know the efforts you’ve put into relationships. You didn’t come this far only to throw it all away, right?

An one good person I lost; once said to me, “you’ll always doubt yourself, but either you can go into hiding because of that doubt or let that doubt drive you to be better.” And that has always stayed with me.

Never doubt and underestimate yourself. When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?

P.S Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them. You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it. Trust yourself, you know what; you do more than what you think.

Thank you

The Purpose: Into your arms

Suicide doesn’t stop the pain, it gives that pain to someone else.

Suicide doesn’t stop the pain, it gives that pain to someone else. In you I found what I was missing, I don’t want to lose you. My love for you is true, I can’t imagine a life without you. My feeling for you is so strong, I love you from the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to lose you. Your love gives me the peace and the hope I need in life, I don’t want to lose you.

If you have a suicidal thought, let me tell you; it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; I want you because I am nothing without you. Do you think that I can face this life without you?

If suicide is still your decision, this is what gonna happen and these are what you gonna miss forever.

1: We would miss you.

2: It’s worth it to be alive.

3: It does get better, believe it or not, it will eventually get better.

4: There’s so much you would miss out on doing.

5: You are worth it don’t let anyone, even yourself tell you otherwise.

6: God made you for a reason, you have a reason.

7: There is always a reason to live!

8: So many people care about you.

9: You are amazing.

10: I don’t even know you and I love you.

11: I care for you.

12: There are plenty of people that love you.

13: You are literally perfect!!

14: There are plenty of people that care for you.

15: God loves you.

16: God cares about you.

17: Sometimes life is hard but it will make you a stronger person don’t worry!

18: What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about all the things you’ve planned,but never got around doing? You can’t do them if your dead.

19: I want you to be alive.

20: So many people want you alive!

21: You won’t be able to listen to Music if you die.

22: You’ll never be able to listen to your favorite song if you die.

23: You’ll never be able to listen to your favorite singer if you’re gone.

24: You’ll never be able to listen to your favorite rapper if you’re gone.

25: Listening to really loud music.

26: Killing yourself is never worth it,you’ll hit both yourself & the people who care about you.

27: There are so many people that would miss you, including me.

28: The clouds you always watch while you are traveling and listening music.

29: You are gorgeous.

30: Someone out there would die for you.

31: How do you think your family would feel?

32: Proving people wrong with your success.

33: Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.

34: You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.

35: You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a cold building on a hot day.

36: Being stupid in public just because you can.

37: Helping other people.

38: You have a future to live for..

39: Being alive is good.

40: Thinking about happy memories.

41: Finding your soulmate.

42: All nighters!!!

43: Sleeping in all day.

44: You can look back at yourself later in your life and be glad you didn’t commit suicide.

45: Nobody could ever replace you.

46: You’re unique.

47: Pets.

48: Petting pets.

49: Netflix and movies.

50: The plants you wanted to have in your living room.

51: Dreams that make you smile.

52: Coffee in bed.

53: New clothes.

54: New shoes.

55: New books.

56: Sunrises and Sunsets.

57: Friends.

58: The ocean.

59: Moonlight.

60: Your family.

61: Inside jokes.

62: Birthdays.

63: Festivals.

64: Family traditions.

65: The taste of your favorite food.

66: Favorite tv show.

67: Favorite movie.

68: Going to new places.

69: The ability to peruse whatever you choose (there are over 7 billion people on Earth, don’t be afraid to be you).

70: To earn money and rewards.

71: You can always flip your life around.

72: To find the perfect job/career for you.

73: Pizza and burgers.

74: Beaches and mountains.

75: New haircuts.

76: Moments you can look back to and laugh at.

77: The stars you count when you are bored.

78: The world is better with you in it.

79: Roller Coasters and bungee jumping.

80: Showers and your favourite perfume.

81: Cakes and sizzling brownies.

82: Growing old.

83: Growing old with the person you love.

84: Singing.

85: Sleeping.

86: Icecream.

87: Cookies.

88: Food you love to cook.

89: Movie nights.

90: Candy.

91: Popcorn.

92: Daydreaming.

93: Happy moments.

94: Celebrations.

95: Sleepovers.

96: Parties.

97: Having a good personality.

98: Making people happy.

99: Bonfires.

100: Sitting on rooftops.

101: Vacations.

102: Hearing crazy stories.

103: Telling crazy stories.

104: Treehouses.

105: Cafe.

106: You’ve changed someone’s life.

107: If you’re gone how will you achieve great things?

108: Everyone has talent including you.

109: Eating crazy food.

110: Hanging out with your friends.

111: Nobody could ever replace you.

112: You have so much to live for.

113: Your dreams need some fulfilling to do.

114: Living life to the fullest.

115: Heck,I would miss you like crazy.

116: Your family and friends would be devastated if you were gone.

117: Someone out there is constantly praying to meet someone like you.

118: Your future.

119: You could save so many lives.

120: You are too beautiful to disappear.

121: You are bigger than any of your problems.

122: You are never alone during this struggle.

123: Tomorrow is a new day!

124: You are worth more than you think.

125: But,the final and most important one is, just being able to experience life because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now; anything could happen!

P.S Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better. When the mind is so dark, it can be hard to see any possibility for future happiness, but it can – and often does – get better. Whether it’s through taking medication, counselling, exercise, eating well, getting into a routine or setting goals, these steps will help you on your path. Know that it is possible to recover from feelings of depression, pain, and suicidal thoughts. If you’re thinking about suicide and looking for a sign to stay alive, consider this quote your sign. Whether you realize it or not, you have the opportunity to make a positive difference in this world. Somebody out there can benefit from your unique talents and gifts. Sometimes all you may need to keep going is a simple sign letting you know that someone cares and wants you to keep living.

Gracias

Do you ever felt the same?

Enlighten your inner mind & soul : If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts, happiness follows them like a never-departing shadow.

I always wanted to talk about what I have in my mind but at some point I refuse to utter a word because I thought that I may disappoint or hurt the one I love and care. Do you ever felt the same?

Whenever I failed to open up, I wish to isolate myself and I have to just mute because I thought that I may burst out with rage. Do you ever felt the same?

Sometimes I feel that I depend on someone mentally, I felt that they are controlling my emotions unknowingly & I have to ignore this thought because I may tend to lose this (so called) only relationship. Do you ever felt the same?

When I get into touch with someone, I start to love them. Later I want them to stay and never leave, I thought they may forget me or be friend with new people if they are not around me. Do you ever felt the same?

I have never kept anything secretly and I always blabbered everything out of excitement. Later, when they use it to offend me, I felt ashamed of sharing my thoughts and experiences. I thought of being transparent but they just have it in their memory to make me upset. It made me resentful and unclear about my motive of being transparent. Do you ever felt the same?

No one is a saint, everyone commits mistakes. We learn from our failures and mistakes. It is not a worst thing. We must appreciate ourselves for not breaking out and motivating us to improve from our losses and failures. But people around us will only talk about our worst pasts and never appreciate us for giving our best in the present life. We expect them that they will love us for making them proud and happy, but in reality, they always remember and remind us our sad past instead of enjoying and cheering us with the charming present that we overcame from the worst experiences. I always thought why aren’t they forgetting even if it never affected them more than it affected us. The worst pasts might give us heartbreaks, suicidal thoughts, depressions, insomnia,. that they never experienced. I asked myself, why aren’t people comforting others and they just talk about the situation which is done? Do you ever felt the same?

Some might have committed huge mistakes and still they talk ill about others. They never realised how they have broken someone’s trust but they behave like they are the most obedient and the trust worthy person. It could provoke us to lose our patience but we never tried to point out their mistakes and troubles they have caused. We know that it may hurt them. We know that it is not the right thing to do. We had the heart to forgive and forget but they would always hurt us mentally. The wound caused by the words can never be healed. Even if we take time, it would never fade away but the reasons may. I always wonder why are people good at talking ill about others instead of correcting their own mistakes. Do you ever felt the same?

Someone would always help and support us financially and if required they would also spare their time to help us mentally. Shouldn’t we grateful for that? I honestly say that I would be one hundred percent grateful for being so kind. Because it is very rare to find such quality from many human. I knew someone; who never respect and just need others for money and mental comfort. They would ditch them away when their motive is done. Isn’t it annoying? Isn’t it seem so cruel? What can we do to them? How can we make them realise that being selfish is a pure evil thing? Even if we teach them, are they going to change their behaviour? We cannot ask someone to stop helping others, we cannot order someone to stop comforting others. As I have already said, being an Angel to someone’s life is a pure humane quality. We must celebrate them. I often think why aren’t few understanding that it would hurt if the same kind of situation hits them? Do you ever felt the same?

Yes, do you ever felt the same?

Be the change, start from yourself, we cannot ask someone to change unless we change our attitude; unless we change our mentality; unless we change our behaviour. We always refused to accept the truth. We sometimes act for the society. But we failed to be true to ourselves.

We have just forgotten the law of this universe when we try to survive with our instinctive thoughts.

All our thoughts and feelings are mirrored in the world around us, making our minds an incredibly powerful tool. The more positivity we manage to infuse into our minds, the more we get in our lives. we need to be careful about the negativity that creeps into our minds occasionally.

Everything in our lives including the people, things, and circumstances is a direct result of our energy vibrations. In short, we attract to what we are. That is, we attract into our people lives, things, and events that have the same vibrational energy as ours. We act like magnets. Sometimes we force ourselves to be with someone who are not desired to be ours. When everything are balanced between us, we are in a happy, peaceful, and content state of mind. When it is not, everything will be shattered.

Our actions and words have a butterfly effect on the world around us. And, they come right back to us in the end. This means, how we behave and treat others directly influences our own lives. By choosing the right path, offering a helping hand to the needy, or just by being a good human being, you can attract more positivity and good things into your life. Your behavior and actions are well within your control, even in the most trying circumstances. Consciously choosing to be good, dignified, and honorable when you are naturally inclined to be angry and destructive, raises your energy levels in no time.

We are an integral part of the Universe. This means every one of our actions and words impacts the world around us. Individual energy vibrations become a part of that of the Universe. This tells us to be aware of the implications of our thoughts, feelings as well as actions, and words. 

As everything in this Universe is interlinked, anything you do will not only affect your immediate family and friends, but also perfect strangers. So, you need to be extremely mindful of what you are thinking, doing, or saying.

P.S Always ask yourself if you are doing alright. If your sense refuses to answer, you are not in a right path, you are faking it. Try to change before someone asks you to. It is always good to be a great human instead of being a fake one. Never let your act affect others. Alter yourself before complaining about others. Be kind. Spread positivity.

Thank you.

The delightful torment (cont..)

Few asked me via mail why I have not talked about the human pleasure a bit too deep. My last article was based on the talk with friends Who are close to my heart.

Few are guilty about the things I shared, few have queries WHAT IF (let me answer your queries), few stopped talking to me and few appreciated me for writing up about the dark fantasies. Yes! Everyone has their opinions, and I appreciate it for standing with their thoughts.

I have a male friend who always talk about Sin. By the way, what is Sin? How do we know if the act we do is unjustly right and fair? How do we declare something we do is immoral or dishonest? He also threatens me that I may spend a minute in hell for being a wicked and unscrupulous person. Don’t ask me if I’m a wicked person? I am not. I always love to annoy people with freaky scenarios. He gets irritated by me for being a weird woman.

If the thing we do is not at all making us to feel guilty, then what we are doing is definitely right. If you are 0.01% guilty about something, watch your steps, you are going to spend a second or minute in hell (am I sounding like my friend?! Actually YES, I believe him, but not one hundred percent). Do you understand why I mentioned this here? You can look at other women or men but when you realise that you are ditching your man or woman, please stop it right there. It’s just a vibration and it is never gonna last. We find this vibration from everyone we come across, but we never expose it unless they approach.

Oops.. wait.. I am not talking about few men or women who has no purpose in life. They don’t have moral values. They don’t think about dishonest and unjustly manner. They do what they want. They never realise the sufferings of others. All they wish to do is abuse and molest and never regret. This is definitely a sin. Because the act they do is making the affected one to lose faith and eventually spoils their mentality.

A girl I know who is of my age was raped when she was 12 years old. She never know what sex is, she never know what it feels like when a man touches her body. She haven’t reached her puberty age. She was just a kid. The rapists ran away after ruining her soul. She was drenched in blood and semen. She was later witnessed by her family. She was completely shattered. She is scared about men later on, she got shivers when a man comes next to her. DON’T WORRY. She is now a strong woman. She is a brave young lady, she is inspiring few. She believes that just because she was raped, she is not weak, she has a wonderful life, she talks about it boldly to let others voice out about their mental traumas. She always had a second thought about suicide. But she never tried to. She thought not to hurt her family or her friends by being a coward.

Is it her fault? Do you think that she deserves it? Do you think that someone can find a pleasure from a kid? What happened had just happened. Nothing can be erased or removed from her memory. Even the days, months and years make her memory to fade. But it still exists at some corner of her mind. It will last forever. But why aren’t those bastards (a person with no quality- can be called this way) are thinking about the future of the kids. Is it that simple? Couldn’t they find a prostitute to satisfy their pleasure?

If someone touch you without your permission, you can scream or call out for help or just run away from them. Speak out about your mental trauma to someone you trust. Tell them that you are not comfortable. You have strength to break their manhood. But you don’t have to. If it is necessary, definitely you can. He can’t complain. You don’t have to hide just because something happened. If some bastards are out alive with guts, why do you have to bend over?

Learn about it before trying. We never had an idea about sex education but nowadays everything has come in advance. There are lot more documentaries and series about sex education. But in my days We call it gender instead of calling it sex because we thought it was a sin. We never had guts to talk to a male friend because we thought it was a sin. We feared to touch each other, because we thought it would make us pregnant. We were shy because our family and neighbours thought having opposite gender friendship is a sin. Later on, the next generation kids started teasing us for being so dumb. Aren’t we lucky that we were innocents in our school days? Aren’t we lucky that we never had an idea about human pleasures till we were teenagers? Aren’t we lucky that being shy in front of our crush is a butterfly feel?

What is your idea about sex before marriage? Do you consider it a sin? If you think this is nothing but a sin, who is affected by it (both the genders are undoubtedly happy, they explored the pleasures, they find it completely that this sex is a pure connection of love). Sex is not a mistake. But we never know that the love partner we have now will destined to be our life partner or not. We just enjoy their existence. We never think about the future, we never plan about tomorrow. We live the life that we have today. If you break up with your love, if you get married to someone else, if you decide not to marry anyone, never try to chase the one you loved if he/ she is married. This is not what either of you deserve. Let them live their life.

What if your partner hates sex but you love? What if your partner ignores you when it comes to pleasure? What if either of you don’t find the sexual vibe from each other? Is it good to complain about your partner to your friends? I can advise you one thing, just sit and talk. Ask them why? Ask them why not? Just because they refuse sex now, it doesn’t mean they are going to refuse it lifelong. They may think that it is not the right time. Lets give them time and space. Don’t lose the love of your life just for a pleasure. Consider it a kind of test your partner is giving you. He/ she may test your patience. They may estimate you with your reaction. Don’t think about break up. Don’t argue for this. Don’t fight for it. You will get it someday. That day you will realise sex is nothing.

It is nothing to worry about virginity but we still fear if the love of our life slept with other man/ woman. Why do we have this gut feeling? Aren’t we trusting our life partner? Actually we do, but when they outspokenly say about their date or a one night stand. We fear. We doubt if he/ she date anyone now or later. Please never ask your loved ones about their past not because it will make them melancholic but you will also lose your peace and happiness. You will doubt their every single move. Let them forget. Let you forgive. This is the least thing we can do just to enlighten our existing life.

P.S Pleasure may come from illusion, but happiness can come only of reality. True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future. So they thoroughly taught each other that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it. They taught each other that after a celebration of love the lovers should not part without admiring each other, without being conquered or having conquered, so that neither is bleak or glutted or has the bad feeling of being used or misused.

Gracias

The delightful Torment

Content Warning / Trigger Warning

What’s in a point of holding up the feelings to ourselves? If you do, then you are not living your life. You are just living the life of someone else’s.

Why am I having an hard time to reveal what I am going to write about.

Alright! Let me be straight here. I am here to talk about someone’s untold desires. That someone may be one of you or your partner or even your crush.

You might think how would I know if it is even untold. Huh!! Finish reading my article. I may reveal how I found it (depends on how I complete this).

What is lovemaking? What is your opinion about it? Is it just a pleasure or something beyond that? After all we are humans, we can be wild or we can be prey based on how we are.

To all the men out there, let me ask you a scenario. You are married and you are telling your darkest fantasies to your partner; What if she jumps in shock? Won’t you be ashamed of what you did? You have to carry this shame till your skins are wrinkled and your body shivers. So are you destined to bury your fantasies or try it with someone else?

A woman I know who is married sent me an audio note few months ago. She said that she is disappointed with her life. From there, she started complaining. She found out that her husband is having an affair. She also took screenshots of their text conversations as a proof. She started crying while reading their conversations. What made her to cry? They have talked about their intimacy.

So what have they discussed in their text conversation? I know you are excited to know. He said HE LOVED HER BROWN NIPPLES. She said HE HAD MEASURED THE DEPTH OF HER. I guess you understood. Does it really matter – the colour of the nipples? Isn’t it for breastfeeding babies? Why are women’s nipples considered a sexual organ but not the men’s nipples.

Let me talk about the features of nipples. The stimulation of the nipple during breastfeeding increases the amount of the hormone oxytocin that circulates. Oxytocin is often referred to as the “cuddling hormone” because it is released by male and female mammals during close social encounters of various kinds.

In addition to its general social effects, whereby a mother feels closeness for the baby she is feeding, there are other more specialized functions of oxytocin.

Another is sexual arousal and orgasm. Some women experiencing intense pleasure, even orgasm, from breastfeeding. This phenomenon was long written off as a mere oddity but neuroscientists are beginning to understand why it happens.

Women feels great when man appreciates her body. But why is it necessary to compare woman’s body? Every thing arose from pornography. We always look at mannequins the perfect body but it is just a plastic (mannequin is a french word means “An Artist’s model”, casted from a real human being). Even it is a plastic, the real human being behind that mannequin is a woman and man with the perfect body parts. This doesn’t mean that not everyone has perfect body shape. The pornographic actors and actress are just like the mannequins. After all they are actors, everything that you watch are a myth. They are subjected to fake cries and moans. So here comes an issue, Women expects a large manhood and men expects a perfect body women. You cannot expect your woman to moan like the actress do. And you cannot expect your man to fuck you for hours. (I don’t wish to give a deep explanation because you will realise the fact someday.)

We all know, no one is of perfect body shape. TV feeds false depiction of life to everyone. To all the men, appreciate your women’s body. Women! You are not an exception though, appreciate your men for what he is capable of. It is never gonna matter when you grow old. The only thing that matters the most is LOVE. Lust will never lasts. LOVE will surely lasts forever.

Hey man! make your woman walk with pride and confidence. Don’t let her lose faith about herself and her body. Hey ladies! You too. Never ever compare him or her with anyone else.

Can we seek others to satisfy our sexual desires? If you say YES, you don’t deserve the love. You are the utter shame to the humankind. If you are surely willing to do it, you are trying to betray your loved ones. If your partner is not okay with your fantasies, bury it anyways. Never think about having an affair. You are going to end up alone if he / she finds you ditching him / her.

Everyone wonder how couples maintain their sex life after having children. I know a girl who is married and has a 3 year old child. Whenever she tried to have intimacy with her husband, her girl would wake up and jumps to sleep between them. Most parents know that having less sex is part of life with a new baby. Yet when the children are a bit older, when the couples are less tired and they will have more opportunity to be intimate.

Does the body need pleasure even when we are at our 60s? Sex isn’t like a carton of milk that goes sour after a certain date. In fact, sex is more like fine wine; it improves with age. most people want and need sex well past 60, and continue to have it often, even well into their 80s. Sex when you’re young is sometimes frantic, explosive, and athletic. As your body slows down, sex can soften and change into more of a slow burn, but it can still be just as hot. It’s not about how often you have sex and it’s not about how many positions you can be in. It’s really about sexual pleasure, and your relationship and connection you have with your partner. When you’re less concerned about your sex stats and more focused on good communication, you’ll have just as much pleasure and passion as you did when you were young. It may just look different than it used to.

Do you think oral sex is mandatory for the physical pleasure? Myth about oral sex have long existed amongst Indians. Yet, oral sex has indisputably emerged as the hottest and newest trend among people down under. However, in India, we still notice a strong reluctance towards the, otherwise believed, most pleasurable act. In fact, oral sex is listed as ‘illegal and unnatural offences’ under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, stated as being ‘carnal intercourse against the order of nature’, which does not carry the potential for procreation. Apart from the legal restrictions, a lot of Indians also seem to nurture erroneous beliefs to perform or avoid oral sex. It is wrongly related to the culture of the country and is not merely considered as an act of pleasure. In India, there’s a lack of education, which has made couples ignorant about oral sex. Young girls often fear pregnancy or might relate their irregular periods to indulging in oral sex, which is untrue as the two have no correlation.

What if you are interested in oral sex and your partner is not? Then he/ she believes the myth which is Oral sex is always unhygienic, though one’s personal hygiene completely depends on their innate routines and habits, Indians still get a repulsive feeling towards the oral form of sex. If either of the partners does not believe in cleanliness and freshness, there is an understandable reluctance towards oral sex. It’s a fact that sex organs secrete and also that a man urinates and ejaculates from the same point, but maintaining good hygiene can ensure an enjoyable act.

Sex is just a pleasure. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s easy to start taking your partner for granted. The little things they do for us on a daily basis start to seem routine; they are no longer special.

P.S Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

Merci

A woman’s disclosure

This revelation is not to hurt anyone but to say that the woman I know is helpless & disappointed. The woman I know is desperately seeks love and care.

Should I address her a woman or with any name? I am naming her Grace (I felt that this name suits her). Grace doesn’t want me to share her name but she wants everyone to know what she is going through.

Grace is a charming lady with kind heart & happiness. Everyone loves to be with her because she is a fun filled woman. You will definitely fall in love with her if you talk to her for the first time. Everyone adores her. She was an inspiration to many in her college days.

No one in the world had a smooth life without any disaster. But what is the disaster in her life? Grace’s mother made her to do all the household works when she was just a school kid. Her mother never looked at her, never cared her but blamed her when Grace scored less mark. Her mother said to everyone that her child (Grace) is characterless when Grace failed to help her mother with household activities. Her mother never cooked her food for lunch to school. And Grace never asked her mother to prepare food for her either. Because she knows nothing will happen and nothing changes.

Grace left her home and stayed in hostel to do her college education. She refused to visit her home during her holidays and vacations.

Years passed, Grace went to earn money. So then what? Her mother treated her well because she needed her child’s earning. Even Grace never refused to give her earning to her mother. Grace’s father working in a different district with an illness allowed her to stay brave.

Grace came to know that her mother is having a relationship with another man. What can she do? Can she fight to make her mother understand that men who flirts with a married woman are bastards? But how is she going to react? Can she ask someone for help? Can she tell it to her father to save their relationship? What can she do?

Out of frustration, She called her mother and scolded her badly. What did her mother do? Talked ill about Grace to family, friends and neighbours. Grace never broke down. She wish to stood for her family. She always wanted her family together. She ignored talking about it to anyone. Even when everyone asked her, why she is upset; she kept quiet. But why is this for? Is this going to make her family bonding stronger?

Grace started hating everyone. She realised that she is failing. She couldn’t do anything. She became weak. She got disappointed. She is helpless.

Her father found his wife’s relationship. You know what happened then? They fought, they blame each other. Grace’s peace faded away. Everything happened what she prayed not to happen. Anyhow she is glad that her mother will be out of this thing.

You know what happened next? Her mother never felt guilty about it. She talked ill about everyone to her husband. She is good at manipulating people. Grace’s father didn’t talk to her for 2 days. She worried about her father. She loves her father a lot. So she wanted to know why her father stopped talking to her? Her father asked her ‘do you love anyone?’ She was shocked. She was not in love with anyone. If she is, she would definitely say YES!. She wanted to know who rumoured about her? It is none other than her own mother.

Grace is done. Grace has lost his interest to live. She always felt jealousy when any of her friends tell her that their mom feed them & braided their hairs. She longed for it. The space of motherhood cannot be filled by anyone else. Even if she is surrounded by people who cares her, she misses a huge thing in her life. Its her mother.

She wandered why is this happening to her? She wandered why her mother talking ill about her child?, she wandered why her mother never cared her?, she wandered why she is unhappy, she wandered why she cannot accept it and let go?

She still loves her mother, she still loves her a lot and She still cares her so much. But her mother is not understanding it. But WHY?

Even if Grace expresses her solitude life through her silence, her mother never realised it.

I tell her not to worry and her mother will understand her someday.

What will you say to this soul? Doesn’t she deserve a happy life?

She is still chanting I AM DONE and willing to kill herself so that she won’t suffer anymore.

P.S To few parents, if you are unhappy with your life; don’t let your children suffer. You don’t have to feed your frustration to your kids. Let them live peacefully. I don’t want any Grace to suffer like this and cry in darkness.

Gracias

Karma never lies

What do you know about Karma? Have you ever chanted this KARMA IS A BOOMERANG in your life? If you have, then let me tell you, someone has hurt your feelings and that someone has never felt guilty about it even when you tell them that you are unhappy with what they did.

Why are we just chanting instead of acting like them? Aren’t we having guts to break them as well? Why do we stay calm every single time?

What is karma actually? It is the law of cause and effect, the great law is what comes to mind for many people when consider what karma means. It states that whatever thoughts or energy we put out, we get back if it is either good or bad. “It’s like sowing and reaping, If you plant love and kindness, you shall get that in return.” You don’t just wait for good things to magically happen in your life; you have to actively go out there and make things happen.

You have heard someone chanting “Karma’s a bitch,” right? We hear that all the time. Somebody does something good, they get good karma. Something bad happens to someone, that’s because they had bad karma. But that’s not how it works. Surprised? Me too! We all think we know what karma means, but do we?

Importantly, karma is not set in stone, is not out of our control, and is not indirect. By this, I mean you don’t do good things with hopes of getting a randomly good outcome (karma is not doing your chores this week in hopes of winning the lottery).

Instead, it means that the steps of your life, your spiritual development, and your personality are directly molded by your thoughts and actions. Present you affects future you.

Karma has nothing to do with “fate.” If you do something negative, it doesn’t mean that something negative has to happen to you to “even it out.”

Let me share what my deep thoughts were. I always wanted to comfort everyone, I always thought of helping others, I have never felt of hurting anyone just for what they did. Im not a monk & I am not even a saint to just kept quiet for everything. Now let me reveal my deep thoughts. I always thought that they don’t deserve me, and I thought that some form of energy watches them doing a fault which will someday teach them that they are facing it because they did it to someone someday.

Is it a kind of satisfaction to wait and watch? I’m serious. Karma is not fate. Karma is an internal power that we create, for good or bad.

When we shift this to say “that’s karma,” when a bad thing happens to us, we are giving up our internal power. We are giving up our ability to change things.

It’s because of this false view that we desire to transform karma into a sort of cash machine based on our ethical and spiritual behavior.

However, if we can let go of this understanding of happiness, we can see that all we need is to live deeply in the present moment with mindfulness and discover our true nature.

Karma is simply energy. It’s our intentional thoughts and actions. The energy we generate now and in the future will affect us. It has nothing to do with reward or punishment. Karma is unbiased and it’s ours to control.

So now, let we talk about good, bad karmas & their results. First of all, let me embrace this clearly without confusing anyone’s idea or thoughts.

What are the good karmas? They are volunteering in a community, loving others as yourself & choosing what is moral over what is easy. What will be the results if we create good karma? You will be shocked with the results. Those are Strengthens society, which ultimately benefits you, increases your wisdom, helps you keep your negative emotions in balance & heals your soul.

What are the bad karmas then? Oppressing people, abusing power, stealing & cheating. You will bear bad results when you create a bad karma. They are enfeebling society, destroying your close relationships, losing your sense of self & being punished by society.

I am not a spiritual person to write briefly about Karma & its effects. But do we really know that if we are creating bad or good karma?

I always wonder if I am really a good person or not. Everyone around us, everyone close to us, says that we are a down to earth person. But each one one of us has their dark sides and we just refuse to relieve it to the world. Because we worry if it may leads to lose a relationship.

Do you think everyone is as good as they are. Everyone has their own traumas. Everyone has come across doing sins even they don’t even know that it’s a sin. So do we have to criticise them for their sins? Not at all, every one of us are guilty deep inside, we are trying to change. And we are altering our lives just to make our life better.

Which is the biggest sin than any other karma? Praying something bad for someone who betrayed us, cheated us & even broken us apart. If that someone did deserve a best bad effect for their actions, they will definitely face it with all their heart and there is no escaping. You don’t have to let them escape from their actions by taking a revenge or praying bad for them.

Say it to your heart, ‘Everything happens for a reason’.

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

P.S Karma never lies. But you can. And there is no escaping.

A mind game

Aren’t we clear that at some point someone is manipulating us in every aspects of our life? From our childhood till we step into a life of retirement. Most of us doesn’t know that we are being manipulated.

How are we manipulated? Isn’t this a good question? Just to make my content clear, we must know how will someone manipulate us? What is the role of manipulation? By the way, manipulation is a skill, an unscrupulous talent. Do you think that manipulators are talented. Obviously yes, if they have the skill to ruin your peace and happiness. Then YES, they are most talented.

Manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way. People who are trying to manipulate others are trying to control others.

Have we ever questioned us that we are listening them and their voices? Aren’t we an individual? Isn’t like we are giving them an advantage by listening their voices?

Manipulative behavior involves three factors: fear, obligation and guilt. When you are being manipulated by someone you are being psychologically coerced into doing something you probably don’t really want to do. You might feel scared to do it, obligated to do it, or guilty about not doing it.

I point out two common manipulators: the bully and the victim. A bully makes you feel fearful and might use aggression, threats and intimidation to control you. The victim engenders a feeling of guilt in their target. The victim usually acts hurt. But while manipulators often play the victim, the reality is that they are the ones who have caused the problem.

A person who is targeted by manipulators who play the victim often try to help the manipulator in order to stop feeling guilty. Targets of this kind of manipulation often feel responsible for helping the victim by doing whatever they can to stop their suffering.

Gaslighting is often used to identify manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts. A manipulative person might twist what you say and make it about them, hijack the conversation or make you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you’re not quite sure you have.

If you’re being gaslighted, you might feel a false sense of guilt or defensiveness—like you failed completely or must have done something wrong when, in reality, that’s not the case.

“Manipulators blame,”. “They don’t take responsibility.”

When will we identify the manipulators? At every point of entering a new stage of life, we break down or sit to understand if it is a right time to move on. There comes the trouble. People who watches us from distance will console us with their ideas and thoughts. If we are open to other thoughts, we sit and listen until we make up our mind that their advise is right. We never stop them because we really want someone to show us right path. But What if their advise is not according to our passion and our morality? Do we have to choose their role based on their passion and morality? When are we going to follow ours? We have also stopped asking ourselves before letting others into our mind.

Why do we worry about the manipulators? They manipulate us in every single way. From ruining a relationship to till we ruin others as well. Let me share my experience before I move into the statement. I know a lady who is 2 years elder to me. She is a good manipulator. She observes people. She knows every single move of her environment. She is very clever but she acts dump when it comes to common sense. If I get angry at someone, I don’t quarrel or fight, I always isolate myself to avoid it. I do this often because I always want them to understand the reason for my silence. I want them to regret for their mistakes. If that lady, watches me sitting alone, she comes to me talking ill about them increasing my temper. If our temper is high, we always wanted to show it to the one who made us to sit alone not to the one who manipulated us. She will even talk ill about me to them just to make them not to regret for what they have done. And finally, the relationship is ruined. I can still try to reunite but I have to blame that lady. But who the real stupid is? ME.. exactly the only me.

Have anyone tried blaming others instead of blaming ourselves for it? I have done it plenty of times. “She is responsible”, “he was the one”, “she asked me to..”. But later I realised that I am the one responsible because I allowed them to take advantages.

I have even gossiped about others. I have one thought in mind whenever I talked about someone behind their back. What if the listener got manipulated by what I said? What if they hate them because of me? What if they ignore them because of me? What if they are good to them but I am still trying to manipulate that they are not good but ill minded people?

What these inner voices made me?

Stop talking about others.

Stop manipulating.

I am not even a good person if I still talk about a true facts about others behind their back.

If you think for a minute, we will never allow anyone to take a step forward to manipulate us.

How do we stop them manipulating us? It is a challenge. But it is worth a try.

Never respond.

Never listen them.

Never give them a reply.

Never show them that you are disappointed.

Never let them know that you are looking for a change.

Never ask them for a suggestion.

Never stop listening yourself.

Never mute yourself from saying NO.

The story of a overthinker

What do you think a girl’s fear will be? As I am a woman of 30 years age, I have faced the worst issues, even if I couldn’t handle the situation better, I tried surviving; because this is the important part where we look for a rescuers or a life savers. My life saver is my own hope.

I must introduce myself to talk about what my fears were and anxieties are. I was an active kid during my babyhood, I am the only daughter of my parents. So they tried securing me every time. I am always talkative, jovial and very friendly. I always respect people and their emotions.

I belong to a caste where every other communities degrade us. But I am glad that my generation are not a part of it completely. So I am kind of relieved in this caste and community system. But elders, teachers, principal isolated me from my classmates. I haven’t talked about it to my parents. Since they spent their time to give us a healthy life and environment. I thought not to ruin their thoughts. I wished that they must not know what I go through. My happiness and talkative nature faded lightly.

I got transferred to another school where the culture and everything were completely different. They respect their students, they taught me how to respect and how to enjoy every aspect of life. I took part in all kind of extra curricular activities. (In my previous school, they always strike my name out from the participants list. They always rejected me without looking at my performance. I love drawing, singing and writing. But they never helped or supported me to improve my talents where I can be good at. )

In my new school, I always won prizes and rewards whenever I participate in competitions like drawing, singing & poetry. Earlier my parents thought I was an average student. But they were surprised when I get to know that I have many talents and I was just not capable of revealing it.

During school days, I was a B grade student. I always wanted to play, draw or write poems. I never left a place without marking it with my art and signature.

After moving to engineering college, I came to understand that education is mandatory to get a job and earn enough money. I stayed in hostel to pursue my college education. I started to understand that looking into oneself is not a easy thing. When the responsibility increased I started behaving like a matured girl. I watched my father struggling with his job even when his health is not good, I studied harder and harder, I built my confidence. And finally graduated. (Casteism never left me even in college. I was shy to enclose my caste and I thought it is not mandatory to introduce myself with my caste name. Most of my friends thought that I belong to a different caste. My lecturer during first semester didn’t give attendance since I was 2 mins late to class. Even if I am punctual, he find an excuse to make me stand outside the class. He tried pushing me down whenever he got the opportunity. I had even decided to leave the college and stay at home helping mom. But my father said “Don’t listen to anyone. People talk. If you listen, you will never have time to look at yourself”. My daddy is One hundred percent right. I remembered it every single time when I was torn apart. I stick myself together, I got up, studied harder and harder till I succeeded. )

When people started demotivating me, my talkativeness and jovial attitude left from me. I started living in a quiet space but I was always the jovial young lady to my close friends. None will clearly understand what runs in my mind except my roomies.

What is the next phase of everyone’s life? Marriage?! Not at all. I applied jobs in overseas hospitals. I even got job opportunity to work in London’s famous hospital. But have you heard about bad omen. Yes, I had it too. It comes in a name of love. None lived without falling in love, I am not an exception though. I decided to work in my own state itself. I never know what would love be?! how people would express love?! As I have already said love is a bad omen. That bad omen is not love but the person I met. He started doubting me because I have plenty of friends. I didn’t tried proving him that he is wrong. If someone doubts us, they always doubts even if we smile at our shadows. I thought it was not necessary for me to prove anyone that I am right.

If I am true to myself, I don’t have to worry about anyone’s doubts. Why did he actually doubted me? Because he fell in love with another girl. Do I have to fight to get him back or leave him with what he wanted. Yes, I left him without creating any scene or making a mess. He came again, he regretted about his mistake. Girls are good at forgiving but not forgetting. I forgave and he started repeating the same mistake. Should I trust this fellow again? Actually, I did. It was like a loop. So I don’t have to explain again. Somehow 5 years passed, I decided to leave him for the last time and not to get back into him. If people commits mistake for a first time, it is okay. But what if they repeats it? I am not his parent or his teacher to teach him how to love someone truly?!.

It is not easy to recover from that first true love. I was transparent, trust worthy and always helping. But what did I get back? Betrayal & pain. I self harmed, I did all stupid things. I went into psychiatric counselling. Nothing changed. Finally decided to move from the place. Quit my job, stayed with family, lived in a quiet space, reading books and novels.

Have you ever read a romantic novel and imagined the characters as you and illustrated every scene as it is happening in your life? Yes, I did. I started longing for love and care. Even if my parents showered me their love, I expected someone to show me love. I longed for one true love.

Do you think it is a good idea to fall in love again? Yes, I did that too. But the mistake is I had fallen for a wrong man. It didn’t go well. Started to feel that men are men. Why aren’t they good enough to people who loves them truly?

I started loving myself, I expected nothing from others. I started living my life. I travelled to another state where everything was completely different. I felt the nature’s beauty. I fell in love with the weather, trees, rain, travelling and music. I started understanding self love. And I valued myself.

Is everyone allowed to stay happy for their lifetime? Not at all. It is in the hands of my family, friends and environment. In this case, my family never wanted me to stay away from them. Because it was 10 long years I stayed away from them. I visited them only during festivals. Now they want me to get marry. But who will my groom be? The hunt for a groom started. I started rejecting because I was scared about marrying a stranger. I guess I am not the only one who is scared of marrying a stranger. Who finally got marry? Definitely not me, my elder brother got married. But the hunt of my groom never stopped? Should I now accept anyone they show or rejects for no reason? Actually I started rejecting..

Now I am 30. When I look at my friends who are married and has kids, I regret that I made a wrong choice. I would have chosen anyone to start the new life.

I think everyone is fond of kids. I am not an exception though. I feel old now. This makes me to overthink a lot these days. My anxiety is improving each day. When my menstruation date is skipped for a day or two. I worry if it may make me infertile. I think overthinking is a quality of ageing. What my overthinking is asking me to do now?

Adopt a baby, girl. There are plenty of kids who doesn’t have a family. Why don’t I take a responsibility for a kid so that she will call me a mommy and I treat her like my kid?

Okay, let me stop here. First I must take care of myself. Without treating myself properly, how could I take responsibility of a child?

P.S I want everyone to stay happy and healthy. But please never betray anyone’s trust. This will hurt them. If you are not okay with their behaviour, tell them to their face. They will try to change or end the relationship. Never try to take revenge. They don’t deserve it. Let them live a life. If a chapter is over, there is no point in rewriting with another sequence.